^ Simple Blueprint September Calendar (via pieces of e).
I'm a bit late as I try to do these things on a weekly basis, but finally, here is a bundle of good mail that has been finding me lately;
^ Micaela's package arrived a little post-bruised, but its contents stayed intact and were delightful! I am so in love with the crocheted doily she sent that her mum made, and in red and white, she must know my taste! Another fabulous missive from miss M.
^ My belated BPS postcard for July from a lady named Pam. Gorgeous and thoroughly worth the wait.
^ A fabulous piece of mail art from IUOMA mail artist Sergio Della Giustina. I'll definitely be getting my pens and scissors and glue ready to make a postcard in reply soon.
^ One of sweet New Zealand mummy Stella's beautiful printed envelopes, containing a grand letter and some of her Frank & Dean postcards that I love. She sells some of her pretty paper wares here.
^ A pelican in my mail box from the Missive Maven - I'm going to try to scribble down a letter to her tonight.
Today's mail;
^ My lunch and the letters I pulled out of the mailbox today.
^ A sweet note from my sister in Newcastle. I just spoke to her on the phone and I miss her.
^ A deliciously decorated letter from Elisabeth in Norway. I am so going to sprinkle those stars in every letter.
^ My second letter from Mariah and a very lovely one.
^ Postal sweetness from Carla, her letters are some of my favourites.
^ My first letter from Hungarian miss Fanni. I love receiving sweet bundles of postcards, and the ones she included are awesome.
^ The goodies in this letter were squeal-worthy. My favourite, without a doubt, is the little package of 'Girls With Big Hair' stickers. So good. And, wonderful goodies accompanied a wonderful letter from Kaatje.
^ Free postcards for Bria who is on exchange in Sweden.
^ Postcard number one goes to my newest internet-pen-friend, a sweet Taiwanese miss named Kiyasu Oka. And the second cat-flavoured postcard I believe was my final BPS mail out.
^ A late letter to sweet miss Crystal in Quebec.
^ A mix cd package for a girl I went to high school with. Hope she digs it :)
I've been feeling really lacklustre over the past few weeks. I haven't been doing my university work, I haven't been writing letters and I haven't been doing much of anything. It takes hours to fall asleep and when I do, I sleep too much and feel exhausted and I find it impossible to will myself to get up. I can't concentrate or convince myself to do anything that I think I might enjoy and I don't want to be awake most of the time, but I can't sleep. I cry when I have nothing to cry about. Not having my own space and staying in someone else's house indefinitely has a lot to do with feeling down, but I've been feeling very bad for some time.
I know I could have omitted these things and nobody would be any the wiser, but just wanted to let you know, because I think it's important to acknowledge when feeling down becomes something that you're more accustomed to than feeling up. And I wondered why I felt so afraid and ashamed to share how I'm feeling. I pay my physical health far more attention than my emotional or mental well-being and I think it's probably time to seek some help. I'm finding that making note of small things to achieve each day, finding things to look forward to and getting out of the house are helping (although the house did lock me outside today for two hours!). I am very fortunate to be with someone who comforts and cares for me in all the right ways (and leaves me alone at the right times too) and I couldn't ask for anything more from him. He is one very positive constant.
How are you feeling today?
I totally understand what you mean. A couple of years ago, after a particularly nasty break-up, I had to move in with friends for 9 weeks and found that without my own space it was incredibly difficult. Sometimes being somewhere temporarily can be hard as you feel like you're in limbo. All the things you get used to while being independent: doing your washing, eating what you want when you want, having your own routines and schedules etc goes up the spout as you have to consider that you're in someone else's home and can't be free to treat that space as you would normally. I hope you find a nice new place soon, and if it's any consolation, the word I used earlier is exactly that: it's temporary. I also think it's very easy to consider the obvious, visible health issues such as diet, exercise etc, but forget that mental health is just as important, if not more so. It's great though that this is on your radar, and it sounds like you're keeping yourself busy. Maybe it's the time of year with the changing season, or being two-thirds of the way through the year we're feeling a little burnt out, but I have absolute confidence that you and everyone else feeling gloomy right now can pick them/ourselves up. It's great that C is so supportive, and I hope your blog/letter friends are the same. Feel better sweetie. Soon you'll have a fabulous new pad to decorate and 'nest' in. A new adventure is heading your way! And in the meantime I find that cake and tea definitely helps :) xxx
ReplyDeleteHey Bianca, what you have described sounds exactly like depression. The crappy housing situation might have got you in a bit of a rut. Don't put up with it if it continues, there are sites like Beyond Blue that provide information. It happens to heaps of people (including me in the past) and it's totally treatable. Things will probably be much better when you get your own pad but until then you don't have to suffer.
ReplyDeleteSorry for getting all Mothery on you but it's just crummy to hear that you're not feeling well.
this you tube video makes me smile hope it puts a smile on your face even for a second.
ReplyDeletehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qR3rK0kZFkg
emotional and physical health tend to go together, when you're emotionaly not strong you actually are weaker physicly so I hope you'll feel better on both accounts soon, being tired and weepy I know it very well and I don't wish it on anyone!
ReplyDeleteI am glad to see my letter arrived! and I knew you would love the big haired girls stickers ;)
love
Kaatje
Hello lovely,
ReplyDeleteI had a feeling you were a little down,
It's odd to not hear from you for so long, via letter or online.
been attempting to chat on fb but keep missing each other.
I'm going through a similar rut, crying everyday, sleeping 16hours a day, constantly exhuasted, behind in my work for no reason. It's horrible, but if it's any consolation, i understand.
We are very lucky to have our lovely partners. very.
We should message each other online privately and have a chat...
Maybe it would be good to talk it all out? Im a good listener?
If i don't hear from you by tonight, ill send you one.
You can't escape me, mwahahaha.
love.
Hi sweetie. As a health professional, I definitely recommend that you see a health professional (would start with GP). I know exactly how you feel and you need to know that there is light at the end of the tunnel. I will write a better explanation of this in my next letter (which will be soon - there is a little package with your name on it, just waiting for me to write a letter)!
ReplyDeletePS so surprised that someone "read" my tumblr!
PPS I hope there is some sunshine in your days and not just grey.
i'm glad everything was intact ;)
ReplyDeletedon't you hate when you're feeling unmotivated? i usually have a sleep - clean sheets is a beautiful thing isn't it?
today i'm feeling excited and happy with our third addition of furry animals to the maxham-lechuga household :) i love our baby stella! xo